I start off my visits saying, “full transparency-I just went on a deep dive of articles that note women do not have their pain taken seriously at the doctors. I appreciate this clinic is an exception.” It’s a polite reminder, I hope.
When some 29 year old calls me Heather and expects to be called Dr whatever, I introduce myself as Ms Lastname. Once when I was so desperately ill that my husband found me curled in the bathroom floor and forced me upright to take me to the hospital, I finally snapped at the doctor that I needed her to remember that I am just as educated as she is, just in a different field so she could stop talking to me like a halfwit. I need explanations, not platitudes. My husband was aghast, but the doctor paused for a second and then stopped being an asshole for the rest of the visit. I wouldn’t have gotten there if I wasn’t in enough pain to have burned through my fuse, but now I take it with me to all my visits.
As a full time nursing school student, this is real. Many of my classmates and I are looking to change this from the inside out. (I especially relate to the eardrum incident as something similar happened to me.) All this said, please get your vitals taken each apt (BP, temp, 02sat, pulse) because over time these values paint an average so that if something happens, those attending nurses know what is 'normal' for you. And yes skip the scale, it's only very specifically necessary (meds, fluid volume overload, etc.) There are some really good nurses coming and we understand it's a mess out there. We care about you and want you to feel heard.
I started refusing to get weighed unless it’s necessary. I say, “is that medically relevant to my visit today?” I started doing it because a friend of mine has had some terrible health crises over the last few years and they will not talk to her like a person because she’s fat. I don’t know why she’s fat. She’s a helluva athlete. But because she’s fat, people can’t see that she also does triathlons and doesn’t need some 30 year old telling her to consider adopting a workout routine. She has cancer, not a need to join your Zumba class. I want them to think about all the other stuff. My medical record though? Read over the shoulder of some tech? “Refuses to be weighed” 🤷🏻♀️ And that’s it right? Accurate. But your tone is concealing the point. I asked you if you need to know my weight for a skin cancer screening. You said no. I declined. Because I don’t trust you to weigh that info correctly.
Lovely! I am writing a book about how to be more empowered as a dental patient, exploring many of the same themes as this piece. Id argue that at the dental office you have an even more overt power imbalance from lying back in the chair while the dentist stands over to painfully invade one of your body cavities so that you literally can't speak.
In 2005? I had a male dentist overcharge us $$$$ by falsifying a treatment (sinus lift) that never happened. When my first implant failed, he tried to demand a large cash fee to rework on it! We refused. (x husband a career RN but looked like a hippy). Then when he redid it, he was angry and extremely rougher (I’d had two already by then) and I left with bruises all over my face!
This is long before Me Too started to get us any credibility. We should have sued him, but x didn’t give a damn about me. I can honestly say it felt like a violent rape.
I have a wonderful dentist now and I told him the name of that guy. Nothing will come of it.
I also had a very ancient guy tell me in the 90s that I did not feel the pain in an abscessed tooth! Found out later that novocaine is diminished by abscess fluids. Felt like a mute animal.
You’ve really kicked the bee hive with this post.
I’m so grateful that you are pursuing this. There’s a silence like the police’s Blue Wall between so many professionals.
His estimate to make everything perfect is way past my means. So I gave him my budget. He sighs deeply but keeps to the priority list. They always want to put Rolls Royce work in a Ford mouth. I only want to live another decade anyway.
I know exactly what you mean -- about the teeth and about the lifespan. I can't afford the costs of extreme old age, and neither can my kids, so this is something to think about.
This is so needed! My daughter had a dentist in Chicago make blow-job "jokes" while telling her to "open wide," and he lied about cavities she didn't have to get her to come back and sit in his chair. Enraging.
I went to a dentist who always kept patients waiting, sometimes for as much as an hour. I live three minutes away and had them call me when the person before me have been called into the office, but most people just sat and waited and looked pretty glum. And one day a woman came out of the dentist office and was paying her bill and let them know that she was whatever I don’t remember, but she earned something like $100 an hour and she told them she had lost time and money by having to wait so she was taking that off her bill. in the end, Dentist owed her money
I love this so much. I'm always afraid of getting "uncooperative" put on my chart, which I think is a thing? It's probably already there. But thanks for the script for how to say not to the scale.
Things I'm saying no to--pelvic exams unless they have a very specific, justifiable reason. And perhaps never again with a metal speculum, which is a device invented by a racist asshole in the 19th century and not improved upon since. The thing has screws in it, for fuck's sake! Metal screws against some of the most sensitive tissue on my body. Are you kidding me with that?
Sometimes I think about the things that have been done to me in gynecological offices with zero efforts to reduce pain, just that eternal lie of, "You'll just feel a little pinch." And, "Just relax." I feel like at dentist's offices now the expectation is zero pain. Why isn't that the expectation in gynecological exams? Oh, right, I know why. Because we're women.
Nailed it! I'm glad you're already on the journey of saying "no." You can definitely skip the scale! It's been a mostly easy one for me, hopefully it will be for you too!
Two summers ago, I fell at an event and broke my leg quite badly. As I was being transported in the ambulance, despite sobbing and being in shock, I had the clear thought:
For the next little while, you are the most important person in the room.
I share your people-pleasing in medical contexts for (reasons) but I am in my 50s and the if I had not been clear with myself about whose needs mattered in that moment, I would have accepted substandard care throughout my ordeal.
Love this piece. I'm a 62-year-old woman and I've started taking my husband with me to the doctor's office so he can corroborate the info I'm giving them about my concerns.
I had to change providers at the VA clinic in the middle of some new and concerning symptoms developing. The ER doc said my 3 hours of leg spasming was just anxiety, gave me an Ativan drip, and sent me home with a bottle of 5 pills.
My prior PCP didn't even bother looking into my symptoms because apparently I pissed her off when I got my COVID booster this past fall against her express wishes that I not. (She was nervously looking around the exam room and saying "The VA doesn't want me to tell you this, but the vaccine wasn't fully tested, blah, blah, blah."). She chalked everything up to vaccine side effects and just threw her hands up and said either "I have no idea" or "Yep, what you think is causing it, is causing it." That was in regard to some hot-icepick stabby chest/rib pain that I thought was maybe irritation from how I rest my tablet when I'm doing my "shut down, brain" solitaire playing at bedtime. (It wasn't the tablet placement). My muscles also get tired out sooner than usual and I lost 15 pounds in under 3 weeks, no effort on my part. Requested a provider change in mid March, saw her for the first time a week ago and I'm already scheduled for an ortho referral for my shoulder arthritis (that I'd repeatedly said was worsening when I saw the prior provider) and getting an EMG and nerve conduction study on May 6 for the muscle weakness.
It pays to stick up for yourself, even if you think you're being overly sensitive to their dismissiveness. Sometimes you're really not, and they just suck.
Yup. Sometimes they do just suck. We are consumers. Someone needs to inform the majority of the medical community that they WORK FOR US. Thanks for your comment.
I find it really discouraging how many ‘professional’ medical workers have succumbed to disinformation. You’d think they have high standards concerning sources, but again, it’s just a business with the whole swath of human variation…
My mom was ready to fist fight my optometrist because he kept telling me that I shouldn’t get lasik until I had kids because pregnancy can change your eyesight. She was like THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS
I trained as an ophthalmologist assistant in 2009, so I find that very intriguing. So I looked it up. I tend to skip commercial sites. The American Academy of Ophthalmologists had a lot to say:
Fortunately I have never wanted kids and got lasik anyway, and they ended up scheduling me with his colleague anyway, who is a lady and a little less…sarcastic? It feels like the dr I’ve been seeing since I was 11 has sort of checked out, whereas his colleague is just more thorough and kind.
I had a great medical team at my HMO and they have all retired now. Damn. My former ophthalmologist was a wonderful guy. Really saw the whole person before him and gave full attention. New doctor is lovely, half my age if that.
I spent so many years without covered care of any kind that I am still wowed and grateful for Obama and now Medicare. Having my eyecare covered is so important! I’m an artist who lives for color, so being at risk for MD, it’s essential.
Last week when I went to see the orthopedist I put on makeup thinking "I hate that I have to do this, but I know I'll be treated better today if I do." And I've had to lecture my mother about being honest with her doctors rather than being a well-behaved-good-girl seeking a gold start. She has had doctors in the ER overlook her symptoms and not treat her, making it so that we had to go back with her an hour later, and go through triage all over again. I also never let doctors or nurses tell me my weight.
Uuuuuuuugh. I feel the exact same way about dressing up for the doctor! We shouldn't have to do this! I'm glad you're there to help your mom learn to advocate for herself!
Thank you for this wonderful article and for all the comments.
As an advocate for the mentally ill and for those so misdiagnosed, I can report that medical personnel are often dismissive of the self-reporting of those suspected of mental illness regardless of their age or gender.
hi Aubrey - I was just talking about this with one of my clients today as she wanted to be less reactive when she gets treated dismissively. she is a woman in her 60s with several chronic illnesses who wears a mask to all her doctors appts and (except for her beloved family doctor) feels she is not treated with respect when she visits her specialists. She is confident to ask her Family doc for a referral to another specialist if she really feels she is not getting good medical care as a result. Hopefully there is more training now with physicians to treat patients differently - my daughter is in family practice and I hope she can always respect her patients and their experiences. excellent piece!
Love this! Something I'm still working on is dropping the language that assumes medical professionals are in control. Grant them every bit of the attention that their expertise deserves, absolutely, but what I swallow or decide to do is still my choice. As in --
"My doctor put me on medication x" -- nope.
"My doctor strongly recommended medication x" -- great.
"My doctor said that unless my blood pressure comes down I'll have to go on medication x" - nope.
"My doctor said that if my blood pressure doesn't come down, medication x is the best option" - perfect.
And so on.
It's surprisingly empowering. And, once one is on the lookout for that kind of language, you realize it's everywhere...
I present as a sane nice old lady. I always shower before any kind of medical appt, because having done hospice care for five years, I know how close contact can be ‘challenging’ to providers. Just courtesy!
But looks can backfire…
There’s a huge homeless population in the city where I live. I picked up scabies from a Trader Joes bathroom, no azz-gaskets on the wall that day…
I’m also a retired esthetician, so know how to do very credible research on skin stuff.
The young female doctor absolutely dismissed my conclusion and mocked me! I reiterated my reasons for the diagnosis, like nighttime activity.
Finally I said, ‘just humor me, give me the prescription cream.’ I was right and it took care of the problem immediately.
I should have followed up and called her out, but those were stressful times, COVID, and no doubt she was dealing with a LOT, so I let it go.
But maybe I should have written her an articulate private note.
Well, I have internet and know how to use it: two (different) things that few had, not that long ago!
Before I got a specialized medical certification, I thought doctors and clinics were bastions of the Hippocratic oath. HA! Just imperfect people like the rest of us, and for-profit businesses like any other. Rude awakening
You can be nice and nothing gets done. My doctor said he just collects a paycheck. Both methods (being assertive or being nice) produce the same end results. Nothing ever gets done because there is a ton of incompetent medical professionals.
OMG I related to this so much including Graves diseases (you must have anxiety) and labour (why yes I WAS in labour.) I hate getting weighed for no reason. This has been so helpful.
I'm so glad! And hello fellow Graves-haver! I actually wrote an entire comic about doctor's misdiagnosing my Graves disease. It's a deep well! It's here, if you're interested: https://thenib.com/medicine-s-women-problem/
Crazy. Such an obvious diagnosis in retrospect yet I too suffered for years with dangerous tranquilizers for my “anxiety,” crying because I was too tired and hungry to get out of bed. I’m so sorry you went through this too
They automatically give you pregnancy tests?? That's so weird! No one in my state has done that. But rest assured I am still pretty much done with most doctors and nurses. My midwife is cool
If you are of reproductive age and there is any chance they will be giving you any kind of medication, you will definitely be getting a pregnancy test on your urine whether they tell you so or not. I'm a lab tech, I run those tests. I think you can refuse it but pretty sure you have to do so explicitly.
This is essential information and I applaud you for speaking up! While I completely understand the medical (and liability) reasons for the tests, it’s what can happen with that very personal information that is so dangerous for women in vulnerable political meddling situations.
The HMO I’m in plays very loosely with sensitive information that’s just printed out on every follow up document, whether it has any relation to the service!
HIPPA is not the ‘fortress’ people think. Adversarial lawyers can get at your ENTIRE medical history, just for a specific auto injury.
urine samples are also important to find urinary tract infections, yeast infections and other infections. But now I would worry about pregnancy testing without your consent in some states.
I start off my visits saying, “full transparency-I just went on a deep dive of articles that note women do not have their pain taken seriously at the doctors. I appreciate this clinic is an exception.” It’s a polite reminder, I hope.
Love this strategy!
When some 29 year old calls me Heather and expects to be called Dr whatever, I introduce myself as Ms Lastname. Once when I was so desperately ill that my husband found me curled in the bathroom floor and forced me upright to take me to the hospital, I finally snapped at the doctor that I needed her to remember that I am just as educated as she is, just in a different field so she could stop talking to me like a halfwit. I need explanations, not platitudes. My husband was aghast, but the doctor paused for a second and then stopped being an asshole for the rest of the visit. I wouldn’t have gotten there if I wasn’t in enough pain to have burned through my fuse, but now I take it with me to all my visits.
As a full time nursing school student, this is real. Many of my classmates and I are looking to change this from the inside out. (I especially relate to the eardrum incident as something similar happened to me.) All this said, please get your vitals taken each apt (BP, temp, 02sat, pulse) because over time these values paint an average so that if something happens, those attending nurses know what is 'normal' for you. And yes skip the scale, it's only very specifically necessary (meds, fluid volume overload, etc.) There are some really good nurses coming and we understand it's a mess out there. We care about you and want you to feel heard.
Thanks for being the change!
I started refusing to get weighed unless it’s necessary. I say, “is that medically relevant to my visit today?” I started doing it because a friend of mine has had some terrible health crises over the last few years and they will not talk to her like a person because she’s fat. I don’t know why she’s fat. She’s a helluva athlete. But because she’s fat, people can’t see that she also does triathlons and doesn’t need some 30 year old telling her to consider adopting a workout routine. She has cancer, not a need to join your Zumba class. I want them to think about all the other stuff. My medical record though? Read over the shoulder of some tech? “Refuses to be weighed” 🤷🏻♀️ And that’s it right? Accurate. But your tone is concealing the point. I asked you if you need to know my weight for a skin cancer screening. You said no. I declined. Because I don’t trust you to weigh that info correctly.
Last time I tried to say I didn’t want to be weighed the nurse said I needed to because insurance made them.
Lovely! I am writing a book about how to be more empowered as a dental patient, exploring many of the same themes as this piece. Id argue that at the dental office you have an even more overt power imbalance from lying back in the chair while the dentist stands over to painfully invade one of your body cavities so that you literally can't speak.
Very good point! Sounds like an interesting book!
thank you :) I'll be glad to send you a copy when its ready (soon).
In 2005? I had a male dentist overcharge us $$$$ by falsifying a treatment (sinus lift) that never happened. When my first implant failed, he tried to demand a large cash fee to rework on it! We refused. (x husband a career RN but looked like a hippy). Then when he redid it, he was angry and extremely rougher (I’d had two already by then) and I left with bruises all over my face!
This is long before Me Too started to get us any credibility. We should have sued him, but x didn’t give a damn about me. I can honestly say it felt like a violent rape.
I have a wonderful dentist now and I told him the name of that guy. Nothing will come of it.
I also had a very ancient guy tell me in the 90s that I did not feel the pain in an abscessed tooth! Found out later that novocaine is diminished by abscess fluids. Felt like a mute animal.
You’ve really kicked the bee hive with this post.
I’m so grateful that you are pursuing this. There’s a silence like the police’s Blue Wall between so many professionals.
I'm so sorry you were abused in this way and I'm glad you've found a good dentist now.
His estimate to make everything perfect is way past my means. So I gave him my budget. He sighs deeply but keeps to the priority list. They always want to put Rolls Royce work in a Ford mouth. I only want to live another decade anyway.
I know exactly what you mean -- about the teeth and about the lifespan. I can't afford the costs of extreme old age, and neither can my kids, so this is something to think about.
This is so needed! My daughter had a dentist in Chicago make blow-job "jokes" while telling her to "open wide," and he lied about cavities she didn't have to get her to come back and sit in his chair. Enraging.
That's so disgusting. I hope your daughter's been able to process that ok because it sounds traumatic. And I hope her current dentist is much better.
That is appalling... most dentists don't deliberately leverage the sexual abuse parallels, but its pretty common to exaggerate diagnoses. Grrrr!
It’s a business. There is a vast spectrum of integrity, like any other business.
I only found this one by asking for references in my small friends group.
I’d love to hear more about this. Huge issue for me, and rarely hear it spoken of especially in such clear terms.
I went to a dentist who always kept patients waiting, sometimes for as much as an hour. I live three minutes away and had them call me when the person before me have been called into the office, but most people just sat and waited and looked pretty glum. And one day a woman came out of the dentist office and was paying her bill and let them know that she was whatever I don’t remember, but she earned something like $100 an hour and she told them she had lost time and money by having to wait so she was taking that off her bill. in the end, Dentist owed her money
I love this so much. I'm always afraid of getting "uncooperative" put on my chart, which I think is a thing? It's probably already there. But thanks for the script for how to say not to the scale.
Things I'm saying no to--pelvic exams unless they have a very specific, justifiable reason. And perhaps never again with a metal speculum, which is a device invented by a racist asshole in the 19th century and not improved upon since. The thing has screws in it, for fuck's sake! Metal screws against some of the most sensitive tissue on my body. Are you kidding me with that?
Sometimes I think about the things that have been done to me in gynecological offices with zero efforts to reduce pain, just that eternal lie of, "You'll just feel a little pinch." And, "Just relax." I feel like at dentist's offices now the expectation is zero pain. Why isn't that the expectation in gynecological exams? Oh, right, I know why. Because we're women.
Nailed it! I'm glad you're already on the journey of saying "no." You can definitely skip the scale! It's been a mostly easy one for me, hopefully it will be for you too!
Two summers ago, I fell at an event and broke my leg quite badly. As I was being transported in the ambulance, despite sobbing and being in shock, I had the clear thought:
For the next little while, you are the most important person in the room.
I share your people-pleasing in medical contexts for (reasons) but I am in my 50s and the if I had not been clear with myself about whose needs mattered in that moment, I would have accepted substandard care throughout my ordeal.
I'm glad you were able to fight the impulse!
Love this piece. I'm a 62-year-old woman and I've started taking my husband with me to the doctor's office so he can corroborate the info I'm giving them about my concerns.
I had to change providers at the VA clinic in the middle of some new and concerning symptoms developing. The ER doc said my 3 hours of leg spasming was just anxiety, gave me an Ativan drip, and sent me home with a bottle of 5 pills.
My prior PCP didn't even bother looking into my symptoms because apparently I pissed her off when I got my COVID booster this past fall against her express wishes that I not. (She was nervously looking around the exam room and saying "The VA doesn't want me to tell you this, but the vaccine wasn't fully tested, blah, blah, blah."). She chalked everything up to vaccine side effects and just threw her hands up and said either "I have no idea" or "Yep, what you think is causing it, is causing it." That was in regard to some hot-icepick stabby chest/rib pain that I thought was maybe irritation from how I rest my tablet when I'm doing my "shut down, brain" solitaire playing at bedtime. (It wasn't the tablet placement). My muscles also get tired out sooner than usual and I lost 15 pounds in under 3 weeks, no effort on my part. Requested a provider change in mid March, saw her for the first time a week ago and I'm already scheduled for an ortho referral for my shoulder arthritis (that I'd repeatedly said was worsening when I saw the prior provider) and getting an EMG and nerve conduction study on May 6 for the muscle weakness.
It pays to stick up for yourself, even if you think you're being overly sensitive to their dismissiveness. Sometimes you're really not, and they just suck.
Yup. Sometimes they do just suck. We are consumers. Someone needs to inform the majority of the medical community that they WORK FOR US. Thanks for your comment.
Ugh. I'm sorry. I hope you get some answers!
I find it really discouraging how many ‘professional’ medical workers have succumbed to disinformation. You’d think they have high standards concerning sources, but again, it’s just a business with the whole swath of human variation…
My mom was ready to fist fight my optometrist because he kept telling me that I shouldn’t get lasik until I had kids because pregnancy can change your eyesight. She was like THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS
I trained as an ophthalmologist assistant in 2009, so I find that very intriguing. So I looked it up. I tend to skip commercial sites. The American Academy of Ophthalmologists had a lot to say:
https://www.aao.org/eyenet/article/ocular-changes-during-pregnancy
Optometrist’s education can vary wildly and requirements are different in various states. I’ve run into a egotistical total
Fool lately and met other very wise ones. When in doubt, a full on doctor is best, especially for something priceless like your eyes!
Fortunately I have never wanted kids and got lasik anyway, and they ended up scheduling me with his colleague anyway, who is a lady and a little less…sarcastic? It feels like the dr I’ve been seeing since I was 11 has sort of checked out, whereas his colleague is just more thorough and kind.
Do you still love it?
Me neither. 👶
I had a great medical team at my HMO and they have all retired now. Damn. My former ophthalmologist was a wonderful guy. Really saw the whole person before him and gave full attention. New doctor is lovely, half my age if that.
I spent so many years without covered care of any kind that I am still wowed and grateful for Obama and now Medicare. Having my eyecare covered is so important! I’m an artist who lives for color, so being at risk for MD, it’s essential.
Your photo is SO COOL! and so tiny
Aloha Lauren!
Getting lasik was the best decision I’ve ever made, it’s great. And thanks!
Last week when I went to see the orthopedist I put on makeup thinking "I hate that I have to do this, but I know I'll be treated better today if I do." And I've had to lecture my mother about being honest with her doctors rather than being a well-behaved-good-girl seeking a gold start. She has had doctors in the ER overlook her symptoms and not treat her, making it so that we had to go back with her an hour later, and go through triage all over again. I also never let doctors or nurses tell me my weight.
Uuuuuuuugh. I feel the exact same way about dressing up for the doctor! We shouldn't have to do this! I'm glad you're there to help your mom learn to advocate for herself!
💕
Thank you for this wonderful article and for all the comments.
As an advocate for the mentally ill and for those so misdiagnosed, I can report that medical personnel are often dismissive of the self-reporting of those suspected of mental illness regardless of their age or gender.
hi Aubrey - I was just talking about this with one of my clients today as she wanted to be less reactive when she gets treated dismissively. she is a woman in her 60s with several chronic illnesses who wears a mask to all her doctors appts and (except for her beloved family doctor) feels she is not treated with respect when she visits her specialists. She is confident to ask her Family doc for a referral to another specialist if she really feels she is not getting good medical care as a result. Hopefully there is more training now with physicians to treat patients differently - my daughter is in family practice and I hope she can always respect her patients and their experiences. excellent piece!
Thanks, Beverley! I hope your client makes good progress!
Love this! Something I'm still working on is dropping the language that assumes medical professionals are in control. Grant them every bit of the attention that their expertise deserves, absolutely, but what I swallow or decide to do is still my choice. As in --
"My doctor put me on medication x" -- nope.
"My doctor strongly recommended medication x" -- great.
"My doctor said that unless my blood pressure comes down I'll have to go on medication x" - nope.
"My doctor said that if my blood pressure doesn't come down, medication x is the best option" - perfect.
And so on.
It's surprisingly empowering. And, once one is on the lookout for that kind of language, you realize it's everywhere...
I love that! Thanks!
This was fabulous. Love, a primary care doctor. (PS the paper gowns are almost never necessary.) (PPS I'm sorry I'm always running late.)
Hahaha! Thank you!
…you can refuse the scale?? 🥹🥹🥹 but it’s *soooooo* medically necessary when you’re getting your hearing checked or getting stitches in your thumb 🥹🥹
Hahaha so true!
I present as a sane nice old lady. I always shower before any kind of medical appt, because having done hospice care for five years, I know how close contact can be ‘challenging’ to providers. Just courtesy!
But looks can backfire…
There’s a huge homeless population in the city where I live. I picked up scabies from a Trader Joes bathroom, no azz-gaskets on the wall that day…
I’m also a retired esthetician, so know how to do very credible research on skin stuff.
The young female doctor absolutely dismissed my conclusion and mocked me! I reiterated my reasons for the diagnosis, like nighttime activity.
Finally I said, ‘just humor me, give me the prescription cream.’ I was right and it took care of the problem immediately.
I should have followed up and called her out, but those were stressful times, COVID, and no doubt she was dealing with a LOT, so I let it go.
But maybe I should have written her an articulate private note.
Ugh. I'm glad you were able to advocate for youself!
Well, I have internet and know how to use it: two (different) things that few had, not that long ago!
Before I got a specialized medical certification, I thought doctors and clinics were bastions of the Hippocratic oath. HA! Just imperfect people like the rest of us, and for-profit businesses like any other. Rude awakening
You can be nice and nothing gets done. My doctor said he just collects a paycheck. Both methods (being assertive or being nice) produce the same end results. Nothing ever gets done because there is a ton of incompetent medical professionals.
OMG I related to this so much including Graves diseases (you must have anxiety) and labour (why yes I WAS in labour.) I hate getting weighed for no reason. This has been so helpful.
I'm so glad! And hello fellow Graves-haver! I actually wrote an entire comic about doctor's misdiagnosing my Graves disease. It's a deep well! It's here, if you're interested: https://thenib.com/medicine-s-women-problem/
Crazy. Such an obvious diagnosis in retrospect yet I too suffered for years with dangerous tranquilizers for my “anxiety,” crying because I was too tired and hungry to get out of bed. I’m so sorry you went through this too
They automatically give you pregnancy tests?? That's so weird! No one in my state has done that. But rest assured I am still pretty much done with most doctors and nurses. My midwife is cool
My college's health center was notorious for it! Any one with a uterus got a pregnancy test no matter what they were there for!
Oh okay, at a college that kind of makes sense.
I was given a pregnancy test every time I went to my annual well woman exam - throughout my 20s and 30s. I found it very annoying.
This is actually extremely fraught with danger for so many women in so many states now.
Is it time to alert women to the risks they take by having ANY urine test done in these unethical states?
If you are of reproductive age and there is any chance they will be giving you any kind of medication, you will definitely be getting a pregnancy test on your urine whether they tell you so or not. I'm a lab tech, I run those tests. I think you can refuse it but pretty sure you have to do so explicitly.
This is essential information and I applaud you for speaking up! While I completely understand the medical (and liability) reasons for the tests, it’s what can happen with that very personal information that is so dangerous for women in vulnerable political meddling situations.
The HMO I’m in plays very loosely with sensitive information that’s just printed out on every follow up document, whether it has any relation to the service!
HIPPA is not the ‘fortress’ people think. Adversarial lawyers can get at your ENTIRE medical history, just for a specific auto injury.
OMG! That’s why they always wanted a urine sample! D’oh!!!
urine samples are also important to find urinary tract infections, yeast infections and other infections. But now I would worry about pregnancy testing without your consent in some states.
To be clear, I was never told that I was being tested for pregnancy. I figured UTIs. How naive…
Don't blame yourself - they often don't explain what they are testing for.