23 Comments
Sep 9Liked by Aubrey Hirsch

Thank you so much for this. I loved this “How do you define a relationship? What is required for it to be “serious?” Sex? Love? The threat of heartbreak? Is a relationship something you do or something you have? It is something that changes you? Teaches you who you are? Nudges you away from who you’ve been and towards new things you’re only just discovering how to want?”

And my best answer is that any significant relationship is almost by definition transformative.

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It's hard to know what to say other than, "Aubrey Hirsch, you nailed this nebulous thing. I get it. I feel it."

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author

Wow. Thank you!

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Wow. What a post. Love it. Full of heart-ache. Wonderful words, thanks so much for sharing.

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Thanks for reading!

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Sep 9Liked by Aubrey Hirsch

Thank you for this. I've had quite a few of these special relationships, still have at least 2. Deep love, some tears, some laughter, no sex.

Earlier this year I started reading the book "The other significant others" by Rhaina Cohen which also speaks of a different kind of love...

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Wow, this one hurts.

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Beautiful, devastating 🖤

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Sep 9Liked by Aubrey Hirsch

But seriously...what do you call them? I have had one of these types of relationships and never had a name for them!

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I don't know! Romantic friendships? Maybe?

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I have some close folks I call "amily" cause it shared the root with "amico", the Italian word for friend. But I don't think it applies here. Mate? Soul sibling?

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Beautiful memories, beautifully written. Thank you 💜

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Thank you!

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Awww…. This was sweet but I feel bad about the singer. You kind of ghosted him, no?

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Well, I think it was more complicated than that. But this is just a tiny slice of a complicated relationship!

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Lovely. But do new partners actually ask, "what's your number?" That's a gross question, and none of their damn business.

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Haha! No one I'd seriously consider, but, yes, I think it's common. Or, if not in so many words, people ask for a kind of relationship breakdown life summary.

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I can have a relationship with, say, my car as well as another person. But a relationship with another person that is enriching is called companionship.

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This is so beautiful, and so relatable. If Dante and Beatrice can be a thing, then this should be a thing too.

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Not me tearing up at 5:30am

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“No, we never dated. He’s not an ex-boyfriend. He’s an ex-almost. Maybe that’s all we’d ever be—an incomplete sentence or a book that someone put down halfway through and never picked back up. Finished without an ending.” - that quote was popular on tumblr back in the day

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I've had this kind of relationship. I call it a "passionate friendship." Thanks for writing about things that are unclassifiable, the most interesting things.

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Beautifully written. This brought tears to my eyes.

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