31 Comments

So many parallels to your experiences that I try not to think about any more because of the PTSD.

This is different than replaying them in my mind, though. This is a reminder that I'm not alone.

And I wasn't the problem.

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<3

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This anger, this fear, this frustrating fury as it occurs over and over; this is absolutely real and justified.

I refuse to call this PTSD any more. IT’S NOT A DISORDER!

It’s an insult to call it that.

I now use the term PTSR. The stress Response. This revelation (not mine) has shifted my very soul. I no longer feel “defective”.

While I am at it, we don’t “get pregnant”. It is being impregnated. It takes a penis. It doesn’t “just happen” without one now, does it? Not to solo sexers or Lesbians, far as I know…

We’re in a tsunami of threats now and I am finding it impossible to ‘not think about it’. Which is not a solution anyway, only festers.

It’s time to upgrade self defense for all of us.

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This essay filled me with rage that anyone has to live with this, and shame that I have almost certainly made someone feel this way, even if unintentionally. I had to stop in the middle and take a pause to reflect.

Thank you for writing it.

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Thank you!

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It’s going to take men calling out this crap when they see it. Peer pressure is by far the most powerful tool for social behavior.

The things I learned in high school bathrooms! For instance: Mom never schooled us girls on dating ethics. No clue! But when I heard girls just savage a whore that was trying to seduce their boyfriends, well that was indelible! NO. Absolutely never do that! It took too. I’m 70 now and just cut off an acquaintance who is banging a married man. Nope. I want nothing to do with her.

Men can make this black and white to other men about rape jokes/entitlement too. The ones who enjoy being a pariah are just scum, not heroes. And they are tainting all men, making their lives worse as well. Texan men are finding this out now with forced births.

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Your words are both a nick in the heart and a sweet salve, Aubrey. Thank you.

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That's such a sweet thing to say! Thank you!

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for me and my sisters and daughters and your sisters and daughters and then a rapist was elected. my rage is off the charts and then comes the gaslighting. we need a female militia. and females who don’t placate to them. 🤬

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You are really on to an idea there! Vision

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I proudly voted for Kamala. Yet I can see why some women had reason to vote for Trump. For instance they were raising little boys who came home crying after being bullied by older girls because of their so-called"toxic masculinity."for instance watching their husbands or sons being passed over for jobs or promotions. For instance watching their brother being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior in the workplace.

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Love this. Finding your voice. Do you really do this? So brave!

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I do! It becomes automatic after a while and it feels really good!

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I don’t know how you did it, but your rape culture anecdotes added up to a story that let me release the anger and feel relief through disgust! Illuminating and making visible a condition no one wants to see! Thank you.

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Thank you so much!

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Thank you so much for writing and sharing this.

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Thank you, Aubrey. Your work always blows me away.

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Thank you for writing and sharing this, Aubrey! It’s powerful and it helps!

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Your writing is very powerful. It is every girl and woman. We all have these stories and to be able to be brave and have the tools to make men maybe think about the consequences of their words❤️‍🩹

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Incredible, start to finish. Thank you for sharing. Wish you didn’t have to.

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This is perfection.

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Thank-you. This is such an important piece of writing. I put this book on hold immediately from my library. <3

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Thank you for this powerful essay. I hope it reaches the people who need to read it.

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This is so powerful I feel a bit sick. So proud of you for writing it, and I hope you get a million views.

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This is perfect and needs to be required reading for everyone!

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